Building New Traditions: How Expats Can Find Connection During the Holidays
When you live abroad, the holidays can feel like a strange in-between place — familiar songs playing in unfamiliar spaces, old rituals that don’t quite fit in your new life.
Maybe you miss the smell of your grandmother’s kitchen, the cold air of winter, or the easy comfort of being surrounded by people who’ve known you forever. Or maybe you love your life abroad, but December still stirs a quiet sense of longing for something more grounded, more connected.
Here’s the truth: you can hold both. You can miss home and still build a meaningful holiday season right where you are.
The Power of Ritual
Rituals — whether big or small — give rhythm to our lives. They tell our nervous system, you’re safe, you belong. When you move countries, those rhythms get disrupted. Even small differences — like what day a holiday is celebrated or what food is served — can leave you feeling subtly disoriented.
But rituals aren’t limited to family or culture; they can also be created. In fact, many expats I work with describe how intentionally crafting new traditions helped them feel more rooted abroad.
It might look like:
Hosting a “friendsmas” dinner with other teachers or expats.
Creating a gratitude ritual — writing one thing each day that brings you joy in your new home.
Taking a walk at the same time every morning for quiet reflection.
Lighting a candle for loved ones far away.
It’s not about replacing your past — it’s about weaving it into your present.
Reimagining Connection
Connection abroad often looks different than it does back home. Your “chosen family” might include colleagues, neighbors, or the barista who knows your name. Sometimes it’s about the people who show up in small ways, not necessarily the ones you’ve known the longest.
During the holidays, consider what connection means for this season of your life.
Maybe it’s joining a community event, volunteering, or organizing a casual potluck with people who might also be far from home.
When you shift your focus from who’s missing to who’s here, you often find unexpected warmth and belonging.
The Myth of the Perfect Holiday
Social media has a way of convincing us that everyone else’s holiday is joyful, cozy, and perfectly lit. But the truth is, the holidays are tender for most people — even those surrounded by family.
Letting go of the “shoulds” frees you to create something more authentic. Maybe that means spending the day outdoors instead of at a formal dinner, or taking a quiet trip instead of hosting. Maybe it means celebrating on a different date altogether.
Your traditions don’t have to look like anyone else’s to be meaningful.
When It Still Feels Lonely
Even with new traditions and good intentions, the holidays can still feel heavy. Grief, homesickness, or transition fatigue can sneak in unexpectedly — and that’s okay. You’re not doing anything wrong by feeling that way.
Therapy can help hold that space for both the beauty and the grief of this season — allowing you to process the losses that come with mobility while building a sense of home within yourself.
In online sessions, I often work with expats and international teachers who are navigating this emotional complexity. Together, we explore ways to feel grounded, connected, and emotionally nourished — even from thousands of miles away.
Finding Home Wherever You Are
The heart of living abroad is learning to create belonging wherever you land. New traditions aren’t about pretending you don’t miss home — they’re about honoring what home means to you now.
Maybe home is the sound of laughter in a shared kitchen, a video call with a friend, or a quiet moment of reflection in a new place that’s becoming familiar.
Whatever it looks like, connection doesn’t have to be lost to distance — it just needs to be reimagined.
