The Potential Loneliness of Living Abroad During the Holidays

The holidays can be complicated when you live abroad.
On the surface, you might be surrounded by palm trees instead of pine trees, planning winter break travels, or attending international school parties filled with laughter and lights. But underneath it all, there can be a quiet ache — the absence of family, the distance from old traditions, the reminder of what’s missing.

Even in beautiful, exciting places, this time of year has a way of bringing loneliness to the surface.

The Double Life of the Expat/Immigrant Holiday

If you’re an expat or international teacher, you’ve likely become skilled at adapting — creating new routines, building community quickly, finding home wherever you land. But during the holidays, that adaptability can feel like pressure: make the best of it, stay grateful, don’t complain.

Maybe you post cheerful photos, attend school events, and fill your days with activity — yet feel a sense of emptiness as you scroll through pictures of family dinners or snow-covered hometowns. It’s a subtle, disorienting kind of loneliness: you’re not completely alone, but you’re not fully connected either.

Many people who live abroad describe this duality — holding gratitude for the life they’ve built, while quietly grieving the one they left behind.

Why Loneliness Can Feel Sharper This Time of Year

From a psychological perspective, the holiday season often triggers memories of belonging — the rituals, smells, and sounds of home. Those sensory cues activate emotional memory, reminding your nervous system of comfort and safety.

When those cues are absent, or when you’re experiencing the holidays in a completely different culture or climate, it can feel like something vital is missing. Your body remembers connection, even if your current life doesn’t mirror it.

Add to that the challenges of time zones, expensive flights, and social media comparison, and it’s no wonder many expats feel isolated in December.

The Unspoken Pressure to “Be Grateful”

One of the most common things I hear from clients living abroad is guilt — guilt for missing home when they’re supposed to feel lucky.

You might catch yourself thinking, I chose this life. I shouldn’t feel sad.
But emotions aren’t logical; they’re relational. You can love your life abroad and still feel lonely. You can be grateful and still grieve.

Loneliness doesn’t mean something is wrong with you — it means you’re human, and that connection matters to you.

What Can Help

There’s no quick fix for loneliness, but there are gentle ways to care for yourself during this time:

1. Name what you’re feeling.
Loneliness often softens when it’s acknowledged. Saying it out loud — even just to yourself — can reduce the shame or pressure to “just get over it.”

2. Create micro-moments of connection.
It doesn’t have to be a big gathering. A walk with a colleague, a video call with a friend, or volunteering locally can all bring small moments of meaning and warmth.

3. Honor your own rituals.
You don’t have to replicate home exactly, but bringing small traditions into your current space — baking something familiar, lighting candles, playing a certain song — helps bridge the distance.

4. Give yourself permission to rest.
Loneliness often feels heavier when you’re depleted. It’s okay to step back from the pressure to socialize or perform happiness.

How Therapy Can Help

If the loneliness feels persistent or overwhelming, therapy can offer a safe place to explore what’s underneath it — the grief, the transition, the longing for belonging.

In my work with immigrants and international teachers, I often see how powerful it is simply to speak what’s been unspoken. Online therapy creates a space to process these feelings from wherever you are in the world — discreetly, compassionately, and without judgment.

Sometimes, the deepest healing begins not with fixing loneliness, but by learning to listen to it — to understand what it’s really asking for: connection, rest, and care.

You don’t have to navigate the holidays alone. Wherever you are, support is within reach.