Why the Holidays Can Trigger Old Trauma (and How to Care for Yourself Overseas)
The holidays are meant to be a time of rest, joy, and connection — but for many people, especially those living abroad, they can also bring unexpected emotional turbulence.
You might find yourself more irritable than usual, feeling distant from loved ones, or even experiencing old memories and emotions that seem to surface out of nowhere. While everyone around you seems to be celebrating, you may quietly wonder, Why do I feel this way?
The truth is, the holidays have a way of stirring up the past — and that’s especially true for those carrying unprocessed stress or trauma.
Why the Holidays Can Be Emotionally Charged
The holiday season is full of sensory and emotional cues — music, food, smells, traditions, and family dynamics — all of which can awaken deep memories in the body.
For those who’ve experienced trauma, even joyful events can feel complicated.
A song or scent might recall a painful time.
Family gatherings might trigger anxiety or conflict.
Silence or isolation might echo past loneliness or loss.
The cultural pressure to “be happy” can make it even harder to stay grounded.
When you add in the experience of living abroad — distance from familiar support networks, new cultural expectations, and sometimes the absence of community — these emotional responses can feel even more intense.
Trauma Is a Body Memory, Not Just a Story
One of the reasons the holidays can be so activating is that trauma lives in the body. It isn’t always a conscious memory you can think your way out of.
The body remembers — through tension, restlessness, sleeplessness, or emotional shutdown.
Even if you’ve done a lot of personal work, this time of year can reactivate old neural pathways — not because you’ve failed to heal, but because your system is responding to reminders of stress, loss, or emotional danger.
Recognizing this for what it is — a body-based reaction — can help you respond with compassion instead of self-criticism.
Signs You Might Be Triggered During the Holidays
Feeling suddenly anxious, sad, or on edge without a clear reason.
Avoiding messages, calls, or social events that feel emotionally charged.
Feeling disconnected from yourself or “numb.”
Physical symptoms like tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or fatigue.
A strong inner voice saying, I should be happier than this.
If any of these sound familiar, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your nervous system is doing its best to protect you — but it may be working too hard.
How to Care for Yourself When the Past Shows Up
1. Slow down and breathe.
When you notice activation — racing thoughts, shallow breathing, or tension — pause. Slow, intentional breaths signal safety to your nervous system. Try exhaling longer than you inhale.
2. Name what’s happening.
Simply saying to yourself, I’m feeling triggered right now, can help move your brain from reaction to awareness. It’s a quiet act of self-support.
3. Set emotional boundaries.
If certain conversations, people, or social media posts feel overwhelming, it’s okay to step back. Protecting your peace is not avoidance; it’s regulation.
4. Ground in the present.
Use sensory grounding — notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. It helps anchor you to the here and now.
5. Reach out for connection.
You don’t have to carry this alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, support group, or therapist, talking about what you’re experiencing can ease the intensity.
How Therapy Can Help
Living abroad can amplify emotional triggers — distance, loneliness, and cultural adjustment often make old patterns feel louder.
In trauma-informed therapy, we work not just with the mind, but with the body. Using methods like EMDR, somatic processing, and breathwork, you can learn how to regulate your nervous system, integrate past experiences, and create new emotional pathways that feel safe and grounded.
Online therapy makes this work accessible wherever you are in the world — a consistent space of support and understanding when everything around you feels transient.
Healing doesn’t mean avoiding triggers altogether — it means learning to meet them with compassion, steadiness, and the tools to stay connected to yourself.
Let This Season Be Gentle
Whatever holiday you celebrate — or even if you don’t celebrate at all — this time of year can carry emotional weight. You’re allowed to step away from what doesn’t feel safe, to rest when you need to, and to care for your body and mind in ways that feel nourishing.
You don’t have to be festive to be whole.
You don’t have to be over it to be healing.
You just have to keep coming home to yourself, one breath at a time.
