Neil Shyminsky - Detoxifying the Manosphere With Soft Masculinity and Research-Backed Rebuttals
“One of the things I loved about Ted Lasso is that it wasn't easy for him; there was a cost. It took work, and you can't just give of yourself selflessly, endlessly.” - Neil Shyminsky
Red pill-ers! Trad gender roles! Manly dudes, rawr! These are just a few terms I learned about the manosphere (which I also didn’t know was a term because I’m not great at the internet) from a male ally who aims to make meaningful inroads with cishet dudes, specifically ones prone to tumbling down rabbit holes of toxic masculinity and misogyny. His tool of choice? Peer-reviewed, evidence-based research combined with compassion and understanding.
Meet Neil Shyminsky. By day, Neil is an English professor at a community college in Canada. By night, Professor Neil, as he’s known on socials, uses his platforms to focus on social theory and masculinity. Professor Neil specializes in refuting misogynistic arguments and restoring a tiny bit of sanity to the internet. His posts make me feel validated and also help me understand what young men are up against. “I try to engage with young men who have strong opinions about gender and gender roles, and appear to have absolutely no factual basis for what they're saying. My usual shtick,” Neil says, “is to dive into research which, spoiler alert: usually doesn’t align with what they’re saying.”
Neil’s videos are approachable, understandable, and non-condescending––refreshing and smart considering his target demographic has access to an endless scroll of hostile rhetoric created by men who promise solutions to problems that they create. Being on the counteroffensive can be lonely work, says Neil. ”We’re badly outnumbered,” he laments. “There's a need for men to be pushing back and providing role models for the same young and adolescent men watching the Andrew Tates of the world.”
With all the “alpha-male” messaging seeping into everyday consciousness, it’s comforting to see and important to celebrate examples of positive masculinity when they appear in the mainstream. Shows like Ted Lasso and Our Flag Means Death highlighted vulnerable male characters in sports and swashbuckling settings, respectively. Both were well-received which keeps Neil hopeful that he can engage a few manosphere followers in meaningful discourse. “I enjoy discussions around topics like vulnerability for that reason––because they're so readily dismissed by the sorts of men I'm responding to, so readily dismissed as feminine and, therefore, bad.”
I, like many other women, find Neil’s message and videos to be refreshing, informative, and validating; a byproduct of his work that counters the sterotypical patriarchical messages. With more Neils in the world, we’d all be a lot freer, more vulnerable and more open to our own experiences and those of others.
Mentioned in this Episode
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GUEST CONTACT AND BIO
Neil Shyminsky (he/him) is an English professor at a community college by day, currently teaching courses on Contemporary Literature and Human Sexuality. By night, he’s a content creator who talks mostly about social theory and masculinity, specializing in refuting the misogynist arguments coming out of the Manosphere.
Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places…
