The Hidden Emotional Cost of Living Abroad
You’ve made the leap. You’re living in Paris, or Taipei (like me), or Cusco. Maybe you moved for your partner’s career, or maybe you chased a big opportunity of your own. On the surface, your life looks enviable.
But quietly, underneath all the privilege and possibility— maybe something feels off.
As a therapist who works online with immigrants, expats, global professionals, and high-functioning clients living abroad, I can tell you:
You’re not alone.
You’re not the weird one.
And you’re not imagining it.
I experienced it myself!
When the Honeymoon Phase Ends
Living abroad comes with its own form of emotional whiplash. After the thrill of arrival fades, many expats begin to experience:
A deep sense of rootlessness
Loneliness, even in beautiful cities
A grief for the life, friends, and identity they left behind
Anxiety or guilt around not fully integrating or “making the most of it”
Emotional fatigue from constantly adapting
These feelings are rarely talked about in public. No one wants to seem ungrateful or whiny when they’re sipping espresso in Florence or attending client dinners in Singapore.
But here’s the truth:
Expat life is emotionally complex.
And complexity deserves attention—not shame.
Identity Disorientation: Who Are You Here?
One of the most common themes I hear from expat clients is this:
“I feel different here”
You’re suddenly outside the cultural reference points that used to shape you. Language, humor, social norms, even how people build relationships—it all shifts. And you have to rebuild yourself from scratch, often without realizing it.
That can be incredibly unsettling, especially for high-achieving professionals who are used to feeling competent and confident.
The Double Life of the High-Functioning Expat
Many of my clients have thriving careers. They manage teams, run startups, consult across time zones. On paper, they’re killing it.
But emotionally? It’s more complicated.
Behind closed doors, they may feel things like:
“I’m always performing, never just being.”
“I feel like I’m living a life that isn’t fully mine.”
“Even when I’m surrounded by people, I feel isolated.”
When you live abroad, especially long-term, it’s easy to live in emotional limbo—not fully here, and not fully there.
Therapy for Expats: Why It Helps
This is where online therapy for expats can be a lifeline. You need someone who understands both the emotional depth and lifestyle realities of your situation.
Therapy helps you:
Process the losses that come with relocation
Reconnect with your identity, even in unfamiliar settings
Navigate relationship shifts—partners, friends, and family dynamics
Build emotional roots when you’re physically far from home
Develop tools to regulate stress, anxiety, and overwhelm on the go
If you’ve experienced trauma (and yes, relocation can be traumatic), EMDR therapy can help process the emotional “residue” of big transitions—without needing to talk it to death.
You Don’t Have to Just “Power Through”
There’s a cultural narrative, especially among high-achievers, that you should just adapt. That discomfort is part of growth. That therapy is for people who are “struggling.”
But the reality is this:
Mental and emotional wellbeing isn’t a luxury. It’s infrastructure. Especially when you’re building a life far from what’s familiar.
You deserve a space to unpack what you’re carrying—and you don’t have to do it alone.
Ready to feel more grounded—wherever you are in the world?
I offer discreet, deeply personalized online therapy for expats and high-functioning professionals abroad. Book a free 20-minute consultation to explore what support might look like.
